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I THINK I’VE BEEN SAYING “TWO” WITH MY FINGERS BACKWARDS AND NO ONE HAS EVER CALLED ME OUT ON IT BUT I’M REALLY SCARED THAT I’VE OFFENDED PEOPLE HELP.♥ / Tue Apr 15th, 2014 ≡ reblog
So, real talk for a second guys
If you ever accidentally call 911, DON’T HANG UP. Stay on the line and tell the calltaker that you accidentally dialed. When you hang up, we either have to call you back or send out police which takes up valuable resources and wastes money. A simple “It was an accident” is all we need and everyone goes about their life much better
(via pizza)♥ 190256 Notes / Tue Apr 15th, 2014 ≡ reblog
♥ 194738 Notes / Tue Apr 15th, 2014 ≡ reblog
so the gifset didn’t load correctly
woth the taste of your lops im on a rode
can we just take a second to realize that there are 14 year olds that weren’t born in the 90’s. just fucking let that sink in.
what the fuck does he want now
Thats it that’s the single greatest pun on tumblr
(via pizza)♥ 293155 Notes / Tue Apr 15th, 2014 ≡ reblog
When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull
When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.
When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.
When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.
When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.
When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.
When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.
When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.
clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented
THIS NEEDS TO BE A 300-PAGE SCI-FI NOVEL BECAUSE I WOULD READ THE HELL OUTTA THAT
(via pizza)♥ 306848 Notes / Tue Apr 15th, 2014 ≡ reblog